How parents or family should prepare school kids for their college

College

Be their support systems in all cases

The moment parents see that their child is about to plan for the college, the first reaction is—”So soon? I cannot believe it that our kid has grown up.”

To imagine that your kid will be going to their first college after school is such a beautiful feeling—the smell of the corridors, of library, of coffee, the lectures, the laugher, and many possible lifelong bonds and memories.

College is mostly fun and it is definitely a rewarding experience but sometimes it brings its own challenges. It is important for the families and the loved ones to build the right awareness and the trust with their college-going kids so that the kid can share their concerns. Some studies such as this or this show some alarming numbers of anxiety and stress among the students, in India, or in fact anywhere in the world.

A few common factors that contribute to this stress are:

  • Peer pressure or parental pressure to do well and score good grades regardless of how excited the kid is about the subjects or courses
  • Internal pressure or any kind of inferiority complex among the peers, whether it is for the lifestyle, for the grades, for performance in other activities such as in sports
  • Career concerns whether they will get the right job
  • The financial stress to repay the loan, or dealing with other possible conflicts at home
  • Inability to handle the relationships scenarios
  • Thoughts of college dropout for career change for any reason
  • Fear of failure for a combination of any of the above reasons

When a kid is prepared for college, they do not need too many directions. They are grown up and they think that they know and most of the times they are not wrong.

However, this is the basic shift in parenting because of the kid’s age, and it does not necessarily prepare the kids for their college.

How parents can prepare their kids for their first college, a post by Steering and photo credits by Unsplash.

Think of a few instances in the recent weeks or months when you noticed that your kid is changing. For example they were reluctant to get clicked in a family function photograph, or they made a weird comment on the country’s political leadership, or how they do not like the rains any more, or their food choices are quickly changing.

This is the family passage and transition stage, possibly across generations. Your kid have their own belief systems and hence they think that their concerns and world views are independent of your concerns for them, and your world views. 

Of course families too have their own concerns—bills to pay, taxes, allergies, and annoying neighbors. However being a parent or being someone who cares for this kid, here are a few things that you can do.

Support

  • The best thing that you can do for them is to give them the confidence that you are there for them in every situation. Things change in the college—you need to give them this confidence that you are there.
  • Do not over-discuss the grades or their career. Let them find this desire and the need to learn from their experiences.
  • When you talk about support, let it be for the three sixty degree life situations.

Use metaphors and stories

  • Use metaphors for a discussion on sensitive topics. For example when you talk about exams or library, map those discussions to your own exam-like situations in life. It can be your past decision to buy property, or stocks, or evaluating a critical business deal, and how the family have been navigating through similar life situations, collectively. 
  • Do not build a moral of the story—let them build it in their own language.
  • Storify your own school days or early career days at work, specific and relatable experiences, and how “this too shall pass aways” or any such principle have helped you. Build bridges for them to set up their own principles, in their own lens. However, do not forget to make them understand that they can rely on you.

Build their capacity

  • College ready students know their strengths—they do not need parents’ judgment about their intelligence or how to deal in certain situations. Focus on building their capacity to learn—life skills, technical skills, interpersonal use cases, and other life scenarios
  • Give them examples our life awareness helps us prepare for the uncertainty—if we are not scoring well, or when not doing well in sports or music competition, or when project is not submitted in time. Do not advise them what exactly to do, but build their capacity to find out what they should do.
  • Do not question their moral stance on certain things—political views, relationships, climate and carbon concerns, some family rituals that they might not be liking. 

Steering is a family-centric experience for helping you connect the dots, your questions, uncertainties, doubts, and mapping the skills to career to life path, for your confidence, and for your aspirations.

See how it works for more details.

Free trial

We have a free trial for you.

Our analysis structure in the free plan helps you in thinking deeply about your life-dreams, aspirations, wishes, and in connecting the dots for what you want to do, what skills you should learn, how to apply those skills in real life work, and what brings joy in your life when you grow up.

Steering is open for private access at present. You can take the free trial to get started.